Keeping Up Defenses/Discipline

Many of us think of the discipline to mean punishment or what a parent does to a child when he is unruly and needs "discipline." It was explained to me at one time that discipline in fact means to guide. One of "Mr. Noah's" definitions says it does mean to punish and another in his list says it means "training that corrects, molds, strengthens or perfects." I like the training type definition the best. Unfortunately when correcting and molding are unsucessful the punishment definition needs to be used. I think I am experiencing both right now. (Since I cannot figure how to make this go down to a new line when I type from now on I will use the symbol PP to designate my desire to start a new paragraph.) PP First I am being punished via what I learned at one time is called self punishment. That means I am suffering from the result that occurs because of my own choices. Second, I am being disciplined in that God is leading me, correcting me, molding me, strengthening me and perfecting me through this experience by His Word, His inner presence and information He has made available to me (nothing wierd - just information that is consistent with The Word of God.) PP-Now it is no secret to most of you or probably all of you who might read this that I am (OK - let's be real open about this) OVERWEIGHT. I go on different diets, I try different techniques and I even proclaim to all around how wonderful the current "plan" is to me and possibly them if they'd only try it out. Then I lose my self-discipline and just try one small bite and it's down the slippery slope from there on out until I reach a point like the point I am at now. I experience the punishment of - feeling bad physically, emotionally and even spiritually. I get depressed, I don't handle problems well and I make great excuses, I don't get things done, I am tired and totally give in to instant self-gratification. And that is all the result of choices Me, Myself and I have made. PP- One of the things that God is using in disciplining me through this time (know that I have asked for His help and forgiveness) is a little devotion from Our Daily Bread a day by day devotion book published by Radio Bible Class. It was titled Cupcake Self-Discipline. The reading was from Titus 1:1-9 and the keynote verse was Proverbs 25:28 which states, " Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls." At the bottom of this devotion is always a one-liner type point to remember. For that day it was, "To gain self-control, give Christ control. " I cut this out and placed it on my refrigerator and I noticed it again at this difficult time. PP- The point that speaks to me most heavily at this time was the analogy of lack of self control and being a city defenseless because of broken down walls. Broken down walls in a city back in the days that this scripture was written would have spelled certain disaster for the whole community of people living within the city. City walls were preventative defense from the enemy. The devotional went on to say that "Consistent self-discipline will build up our spirtual defense system against the forces of evil." Then it pointed out that by learning to discipline ordinary things - in my case eating, exercise etc. - we make habits of the kind of living that God wants us to live. PP- Now if a city wall is broken down it is most likely from laziness and from putting little importance on keeping the city safe. Too many other comforts have resulted from bad stewardship in important matters. I have allowed my city wall to become broken down. I have become lazy in my day to day practices and I have reaped an undefended attack from outside the city walls. PP- Thankfully, God has also blessed me with the access to some good materials with practical tips to help me through this struggle. He has shown me through His Word that He will forgive me when I ask Him to and He has given me promises of His presence and help if I only will pick up the rocks and start mending my walls. He has also made a great point of showing me through His Word that He can work through my weakness and show His perfect strength and that through Christ I can be strengthened in ALL things. PP-I am willing to get up and go and yet to let God do the leading in this wall building project. PP - One thing I forgot to add: My husband is another great blessing from God. He gives me great advice. He just reminded me that I needed to get started on eating an elephant - Another story for another day.